Happy Birthday, Murderer!

Somewhere in suburban Colorado last week, a person received a package reeking of onion. Everything was going according to plan.

To recap: First this happened, then this happened, then this and this happened.

Thanks to Vvinni, you can see exactly what happened when that onion-scented box was opened, embedded below:

And here, friends, for the first time, I am proud to present what was on that tape:

This is not over, friends. Sinister insinuations and careless threats have been made. Foul deeds are afoot. The Tape will travel again.

Read more about the mail adventures:

About Film, Time and Pumas

And now a short break from Nicaragua to share with you this film by Vvinni Gagnepain, the nation’s preeminent film/time/puma scholar, About Film, Time and Pumas:

I am very proud to have been the director of photography for this film, employing the groundbreaking technique of “method cinematography.” Many thanks to Vvinni for the challenging direction and allowing me to work on such a bizarre project.

Cineastas de Granada, part 4: Granada

The classes start tomorrow. In the meantime, here are some photographs in and around Granada:

Calle el Cisne, Granada"FSLN - Viva Daniel"Volcàn Mombacho, as seen from Lake NicaraguaColegio Maria Auxiliadora, Granadacolegio-maria-auxiliadora_02Iglesia la Merced, GranadaAntiguo Convento San Francisco, GranadaCalle el Arsenal, Granada

Cineastas de Granada, Part 3: Outside my window this morning

Outside my window this morning

Click the image to enlarge for the full effect

Click to play audio

Cineastas de Granada, Part 2: Miami

On the the continuum from ‘utopia’ to ‘dystopia,’ the two extremes loop back and converge on a single point in space—a point known simply as ‘Miami.’ From the air, Miami could be a futuristic alien landscape. Giant swaths of identical, picturesque homes sit in rings around unnaturally geometric ponds, surrounded by uniformly emerald-green grass. Subdivisions the size of small towns stretch off in all directions. Feeble-minded heiresses with dogs the size of walnuts patrol the pristine sidewalks.

And the golf courses! Oh, the golf courses!

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Cineastas de Granada: Out the door and into the cold (Part 1 of many)

It’s 12:07 AM here in Minneapolis. It’s 28° Fahrenheit outside—by an odd coincidence, the exact same temperature that it is at this very instant in my hometown of Fort Collins, a thousand miles away. The internet allows us an opportunity to find these meaningless convergences that would have otherwise gone unnoticed.

In approximately three hours I’ll be sitting in an airport terminal, waiting for the sky to turn that specific shade of pinkish-purple that indicates that I can now get onto the airplane and find seat 23F. That plane’s destination is an airport in another American city. From there I will board another plane that will take me to Menagua, Nicaragua, and then by shuttle to Granada, a small city on the shore of Lake Nicaragua, whose water is now unfit to drink. Right now in Granada it’s 75°F. It will have reached 90° by the time my plane lands, at 4:50 PM.

I’m taking two suitcases with me. One contains clothes and a mostly-empty bottle of shampoo. The other contains a pair of broken-down laptops, a cheap little MiniDV camera in a Pelican case, and a handful of cables and discs. I am taking these things to Cineastas de Granada—an organization that offers free film production classes to low-income teenage girls in the city. This is my final destination. I will be spending a month with Cineastas, teaching Final Cut Pro. I speak no Spanish.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’m going to write it all down and shoot photos and video. If there’s internet access to be had in Granada I’ll post it all as I go along. If there isn’t, I’ll post it all when I get back in January.

In the meantime, Vvinni has an interesting blog post coming up in the next week or so, but he doesn’t know about it yet. Just be patient.

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