I Got the Poops

Last spring, one of my hard drive enclosures died. Not the drive itself, you’ll be happy to hear; just the enclosure. So I took a screwdriver to it, cracked it open, took the drive out and installed it inside my computer.

Empty hard drive enclosure

That’s not the story. The story involves the non-functional aluminum case I was left with, which sat around my apartment for weeks under the detritus, pleading for a purpose in life. One day I opened it up and looked inside. My thoughts turned to heavy-duty shipping containers and I started wondering what I could put in it. Would a DVD fit? Nope, the enclosure was long and narrow. But you know… a VHS tape would fit in there just about perfectly. And thus a weekend-long odyssey began.

Putting a tape in the case and mailing it off to someone was all well and good, but what would I put on the tape? And for what purpose? The more I thought about it, the more I knew the answer. There would be no purpose. It would present itself as a complex puzzle with no solution.

Packaged tape

Having decided upon a target recipient for this madness, I set to work. Obviously the most pressing issue would be what to put on the tape. After toiling for hours over YouTube, mixing in footage of my own and a healthy dose of titles, filters and royalty-free music, I had a product that I then dubbed to VHS tape—then back to digital, then back to VHS tape, to make sure the quality was nice and low. This masterwork, entitled I Got the Poops, is embedded below in its entirety:

The VHS tape I then wrapped in a diagram explaining Timecube, which I then wrapped in a protective layer of duct tape to make it extra-difficult to open. A few modifications with a pair of pliers allowed me to seal the whole tape inside the aluminum case, which I then garnished with a hundred or so little pieces of paper with ‘no’ written on them, some little electronic bits and pieces, and post-it notes with strange drawings done in Sharpie. I screwed the case shut, wrapped it in cardboard and taped it up, then mailed it off to Vvinni, who was the only person I could think of who might be psychologically prepared to receive such a package.

Profane post-it

This whole thing was an exhilarating experience—and one I plan to repeat in the future. Nothing quite compares to sending someone a cryptic parcel they’re not expecting.

Mysterious package

Vvinni is currently plotting his revenge. I’ll let you know what happens—unless his revenge winds up killing me.

Read more about the mail adventures:

One thought on “I Got the Poops

  1. Pingback: I Got the Poops | The Great and Powerful Henceblog

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