Monica and Alex suck.

And Monica makes bad jokes. And for some reason she resents me just because of my vodcast.

Well, Monica, fellow film major, I CHALLENGE THEE to make a film that puts me to shame. By next Thursday. That’s just over a week, and to level the playing field I’ll do one at the same time. You can even use my equipment if you want.

So, Monica, the only question remaining is: ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE?

27 thoughts on “Monica and Alex suck.

  1. Okay first of all, I do not make bad jokes. Second of all, I don’t really resent you for it. Lastly, I will in fact accept this challenge, but I think we both know I won’t be able to ‘put you to shame.’ However, I am at this school to make films and not to draw two-point perspective, so I’ll do it anyway. But can we say the deadline is next Friday, since really we won’t be able to start until Thursday night on account of Art History-related activities.

  2. Game, not games. I will fulfill the honorary position of master of ceremony. Granted, it will be difficult given that I am out of the state, but I will do the best I can with what I have to work with. Maybe I’ll just staple a picture of Andrew and something else that represents Monica to a pair of moose during rutting season and commentate on that.

    Andrew, remember that this blog is here to fill the cold, nonproductive lives of yourself and everyone who knows you, not to post attack ads and slurs. Monica, whoever the hell you are, the same goes for you.

    I hate being the dad.

  3. Oooo! oooo! Can I be the guy who thinks he knows more about film than anyone else and gives horrible critiques of each entry to fuel my own ego?!?! Oh wait… I am that person… Damn. Good luck to you both!

    Monica, however, is a sexy name, and I’ll make a wild guess at her being damn fine. Thus, Andrew shall lose by lack of being a beautiful woman(just my chicken bones speaking here).

    Finally, I just want you to know that Greg is in a REALLY strange mood, having not slept for about.. oh…. 46 hours. That said, let the game (singular, even if you could call it a game, which it isn’t really. It’s more of a contest or test of strength or something) begin!

  4. DUH, Evan! I think your mom’s name is SEXY! And I’m in class, too! Or was, anyway.

    IDIOTS!

    P.S. Who is this Monica person anyway?

  5. To answer your question, Greg, Monica will be my opponent in the FILMMAKER DEATHMATCH! Here are the rules:

    1. No biting.
    2. Films will be finished by 11:59 PM on Sunday, November 12th and uploaded for you all to see the following day.

    That’s about it, actually.

  6. Ah, yes, seeing as you played someone named Alex?

    Well, this Alex is an Alex in the feminine, and she was really nothing more than an innocent bystander to a nasty confrontation between myself and Monica, leading to this blog post.

    Leave her out of this, she has done no wrong and, what’s more, she’s not a film major. Therefore, she is of no importance.

  7. This still hasn’t really answered by “what the hell is going on” question. I do now have a little more information on who is involved, but even that is spotty…

  8. I hate to say this, but I agree with Paul, you still haven’t told how this whole Deathmatch thing started. Tell us Andrew, or we might revolt in an angery rage of anger.

  9. I’m feeling a lot of tension here. The revolt is starting! Maybe we should just do the NORMAL thing and spy on Andrew’s every move. Then we’d know all about this… “Monica” person, and there wouldn’t be any revolting, ragey or otherwise.

  10. I’m going to leave it up to Monica to introduce herself if she wants to. I’ll let her know that she’s instigated a small-scale revolt on my blog, but I can make no guarantees.

    You’re all very angry, and I have no idea why. What do you want to know? Would it help if I cried a lot and sent you flowers? Because I can totally do that if you pay for the flowers. Donate here.

  11. Okay. Um. HELLO. My name is Monica, obviously. I attend MCAD as well and have plans to major in filmmaking, even though these plans may be soon hindered by limited class sizes and the threat of Graphic Design I. ANYWAY.

    I live in the same apartment building as Andrew does, and one evening, my friend Alex and I had some business in the basement and ended up visiting him. For some reason, I ended up saying something along the lines of ‘Why don’t you talk about this in your PODCAST?! How about you write about this on your WEBSITE?!’ This isn’t because I ‘resent’ Andrew for the level of professionalism he maintains, but because I’m a tad jealous, as I’ve never had the time or resources to achieve the things he already has. And it makes me sad! Really, really sad! Moving on, I made some really hilarious jokes about cable news and then Alex and I left. And then I was challenged to a duel, and I know I’m going to lose, but I’m doing this anyway because as I told Andrew, I am at this school to [attempt to.] make films, not to draw two-point perspective.

    OKAY SEE YA!

  12. Well, if you are concerned about professionalism, you can see that Andrew is not respsonsible for the lack of professionalism here. He makes tote bags while we insult one another.
    I am just a scavanging dog that is interested (and invovled with, from time to time) Andrew’s work. I wait in the pit, eager for the next scrap.

  13. Monica, don’t worry. We’re not the sort of people who judge other people for their ability to make films. We’re the sort of people who judge other people for their ability to make GOOD films. Or, more specifically, EVENTUALLY FINISH good films.

    So, as long as you can film someone doing something and film them well, you’ll knock Andrew flat on his…er…rump.

    As for Paul, I am crossing my fingers, my toes, and my arteries that your next scrap, complete with angry angery anger, will be ready (if not published due to lack of sneakiness) on Monday. I just need to get a couple of finished articles (cough Sean cough), find a few suitable photos (hack Me hack), and learn to make Gimp roll over and fetch like I want it to.

  14. Evan is trying to communicate to me about the Enquirerer (or however the devil it is spelled) though he has my e-mail address…That might be a better place?
    The scraps I was refering to, of course, were movie related; be it Wholesale, Terminal, or any of the Short Exploding variety.

  15. Pingback: Exploding Goldfish Films » Blog Archive » Recent goings-on

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