"The Job Interview" – for connoisseurs of fine scripts

“THE JOB INTERVIEW
In which Eric introduces Reginald to the concept of the Platonic Donut

 

ERIC: Here are my credentials.

REGINALD: Where is your résumé?

ERIC: Oh, nothing.

REGINALD: But this is just a donut.

ERIC: Yes.

REGINALD: So…?

ERIC: So you eat the donut, and you are filled with a cosmic happiness.

REGINALD: But…

ERIC: You are infused with the knowledge that the Earth is a good and helpful place, and that each person is but a tiny, insignificant speck in a full-fledged world-machine capable of imagining any dimensional instance.

REGINALD: Um…

ERIC: …and then you hire me.

REGINALD: Oh.

Eric stares at Reginald, unblinking, for a full half-hour.

REGINALD: You’re hired.

ERIC: I quit!

 

THE END

6 thoughts on “"The Job Interview" – for connoisseurs of fine scripts

  1. Excellent! I admire the implied duality of the optimistic rationalism suggested by the Leibnitzian suggestion of the state of the best form of existence, coupled with the pseudo-cynical application of Nietzscheite distemper of man’s dissatisfaction towards God for having determined man (that is, Man) to be insignificant in the face of such a world; and the way that these facts are constituted into the framework of a neocapitalist dogma that plainly dictates an individual’s helplessness in the inevitable struggle to maintain individual survival versus an industrial complex that truly needs no one person.

    However, there is one flaw in your resolution. While it is true that by rejecting his newfound occupation ‘Eric’ supercedes his own insignificance by exercising his inherent free will, the overriding conceptualization of the machine as indiscriminate would be better served by this conclusion:

    Reginald: I cannot accept your radicalist and dangerous dogmatic overture in the form of this pastry, as it disregards the established protocols for seeking employment.

    (Reginald produces a pistol from his coat pocket and mortally wounds Eric.)

    Reginald: Next!

    This ending reinforces the notion of the Nameless Dictator which organizes all human activity and applies it towards a fabricated end or ‘Telos’ (underlying meaning), created for the placation and ordering of that human productivity and maintaining the slave-master relationship Milton described in his seminal work.

  2. Well that’ great to know Mr. “Look at me I know all of those stupid shortcuts on the keyboard to making things appear”. What about the rest of us? What about Jack and Jill and Jork and Bjork? How are they going to type your “actual ellipses”? Or are you just so up on your high horse that if you jump down now you’d break your legs and be several feet underneath the rest of us?
















    I hope you’re sufficiently peeved, you egomaniacal bastard.

  3. No, you said some things you didn’t mean. I haven’t had a chance yet, so now it’s MY turn!

    • Vvinni, everybody thinks you’re fat.
    • Everyone should appreciate my art more than they do.
    • All I’m saying is, Hitler should have killed more Jewish people.

    Whew, that took way more effort than I expected. I’m out of shape. Need more practice being disingenuous. Back to the ol’ routine!

    HUP, two three four and LIE, two three four DECEIVE, two three four and CHEAT, two three four…*

    *Note the ELLIPSIS.

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