What, me worry?

Yes. Me worry.

I bet you’re all wondering why didn’t post on Wednesday. This is because Qwest is evil. And vengeful. I’ll leave it at that.

Preface: I am assuming that you all know what I am writing. I will explain the story as fully as possible for those ignorants out there in my next post.

A note from Andrew: In the meantime, I’ll just say that Parker’s script is essentially an adaptation of Dante’s Divine Comedy, and that it follows a character named Leo on his journey from Heaven down through Purgatory and Hell.

I am still working on the script (of course), but things are going as slowly as a nut that believes itself to be a hatching egg. That is very slow for those of you that do not speak poor metaphor. I have written almost all of Heaven, I just need to get some transitions between scenes written and down. Then it’s on to Purgatory! Hurrah! (P.S. Andrew, I have decided that I’m either going to do ‘your’ ending or both, depending on estimated running time at that point.) I am predicting that this will take me another two weeks or so to finish. I’ll probably work on it alot in Speech, which starts Monday. I need to organize a get together with primarily Andrew to discuss the film, but if others can contribute as well, they’d be more than welcome. Be warned though, I will claim any ideas that you offer and that I like as my own. *Insert evil laugh here*

A wonderful discussion about Jesus’s character in The Somber Tale of Leonard Noblac took place today at the Playwrighting/Fight/Screenwrighting Club. It has been determined that when Jesus was forced to take all of humanities sins upon himself and was condemned by the Father to die on the cross, it destroyed his mental state. He now has the mental age of nine or ten, and has some sort of dissociative disorder (right, Andrew?) (Andrew Sez: Close enough.) that causes him to have imaginary conversations with ‘the Father’. I hope that with both of these mental disorders, some empathy for his broken character will be created. I still need some explaination of his return from the dead though, and why he still seemed sane then. Did he seem sane then? TELL ME! His character is also split between Heaven and Hell, due to the fact that he died as both the son of God and as a mortal man with all the sins of the world on him. This provides for all sorts of fun. Heaven is infested with mental illness, steming from the creation of man by Satan. Yes, you read that right. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to convey that on screen though. Problem.

Well, I’ve wasted enough of your life. I’ll leave you with this random quote supplied by our generous quote sponsor, Google:

“Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much.”
What does it mean? I just don’t care!


16 thoughts on “What, me worry?

  1. Hey there, Parker! Great to hear from you! I hope you don’t mind my annotations (well… it doesn’t matter if you DO, since it’s MY blog! Hah!).

    Anyway… now that you’re supposedly “accountable” to the online community, hopefully you have yet another reason to finish your script soon! And good luck with speech!

  2. I don’t mean to offend…but I am not confident enough in the script to “sign over” my purgatory ideas…

    This means: Give me a good copy of the script….please?

  3. Listen, Paul:

    I’m on it. You hear me? Please understand that there’s no way in Hell (no pun intended) that this movie isn’t going to have any rough edges, on the budget we’re working with (nil). And to be honest, your purgatory concepts are small fry. I mean, honestly, Parker’s building all of the supernatural universe here, complete with detailed depictions of God, Jesus, Satan, and Franklin Roosevelt. So whether or not the syrup bottles in Purgatory are sticky is of… minimal importance.

    On the same token, Parker and I have had a few minor disagreements as to the direction and feel of the film, and we’re working to reconcile them and hopefully reach a superior end product. So your concerns are not unfounded. But please be reminded that this is Parker’s baby. Not yours, not mine.

    This is Parker’s first big project, and of course he is going to make some mistakes. Actually quite a lot, probably. I’ll be there to help, but I’m not exactly an infallible genius myself. So don’t expect an Oscar-winner here.

    I’ll gladly send you the script so far. As the unofficial executive producer I can do things like that. And if you have any comments you can certainly contact me and I’ll pass them on to Parker, with or without my endorsement. I can do that sort of thing too.

    What I’m saying is, if you want involvement, good! We’ll be glad to have you on board as a writer or conceptual production designer or whatever other arcane title you want! But what I can’t give you, because I don’t have it myself, is executive control.

    And remember: I like Parker, but I just finished a grueling project of my own. Do you think I’d be throwing more of my time and energy away on something like this if I didn’t think it was a promising project or if I didn’t think Parker would do a good job with it? I mean… I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.

  4. Awwwww. Thanks Andrew. But damn it all! Now I must meet higher and fuller fullfillments! (Not that I’m not up to it). I am working on it. It is getting done, obviously. Heaven should be, and had better be completed by next post. Then I can– Well damn it all. That comment about syrup bottles has made me hungry. Thanks alot….

  5. I know it isn’t really “my property” in any way…really I just want to do what I can to insure the quality of the whole thing. I will be involved if I am wanted.

  6. Yeah… I think this is one of those “too many cooks” situations. It’s not that your ideas aren’t good (they’re great, as far as I’m concerned), it’s just that there are TOO MANY ideas floating around right now, and it would be impossible to get them all worked into the script (and, as the unofficial executive producer, it’s my job to scream at people about money, and every time a new idea comes along, dollar signs pop up in front of my eyeballs in a manner reminiscent of Scrooge McDuck).

    I don’t speak for Parker here, but I will certainly be much more open to criticism and collaboration once the script is finished—a COMPLETE SCRIPT is the absolute primo number one top-of-the-list concern right now.

  7. I can pitch you all kinds of Gnostic ideas, which are pretty weird adjustment/criticisms of orthodox Christianity. This could be particularly helpful with the creation of Man by Satan. Yaldabaoth is said to have done just that.
    Also, don’t call Satan Lucifer, this is incorrect. It has been “determined” that Samael is his proper angelic name. It is a long, relatively pointless story…anyway, with the Eva paper I got all kinds of bits of information that might be useful. I suppose you reading the Eva paper (FINISH EVA!!) might be a good place to start. Maybe I should give you a more revised version though…there were a few things I was just plain wrong on…

  8. Sigh. I know you’ll all hate me for this, but I must express my concern because you are my friends. I’m worried that, in the interests of comedy, you (as in whoever writes and/or contributes) will abuse and/or insult Christianity. No matter what you guys think, that isn’t cool. I must stress that you should have a very active sense of respect for the things you are writing about. And I don’t want to hear any BS, because this is a serious problem, and all of us have been known to overstep the boundary and insult or disrespect something unneccessarily.
    Long post short, be cool and try not to be assholes. Honestly.

  9. Greg, why would I hate you for that? Believe me, my days of militant atheism are behind me. There may be some things in here that could be construed as offensive to orthodox or fundamentalist religion, but there are a lot of things like that in this world.

    I don’t want to get too esoteric here and of course it’s not my decision, but one thing I would like to see this film embody is a criticism of, rather than an attack on, modern organized Christianity (and to an extent, all religion). I mean, we’re making a comedy rather than an exegesis here, but I think it’s an important (and generally unexpressed idea) that although the scriptures represent a philosophy rather than a story, there is a story behind them. This is where Christ’s mental illness figures in. Christ was, after all, only a human, rather than a supernatural being. And the human mind can only withstand so much. The tragedy of Christ’s death, looking beyond the larger issues of man’s inhumanity to man, is that he knew exactly what was happening to him. If you take it at its literal meaning, he absorbed all the evil in the world and took it upon himself; moreover, he was killed—born to be killed—by his father.

    Don’t tell me that if that happened to you, it wouldn’t screw you up.

    This is primarily what Parker and I discussed, and how his illness would manifest itself. And by saying he has a mental age of nine and a mild dissociative or schizoid personality disorder is keeping it mild. We had discussed everything from multiple-personality dissociative disorder to full-on catatonic schizophrenia, and we decided to tone it down a bit to keep it easy on the audience.

    For me, this is, if anything, more sympathetic to Christ as a person than the actual teachings of Christianity. And in presenting this, the intention is to expand and contrast on the outlook of traditional Christian teachings and perhaps even provide an expanded view of Christ as a human rather than a robotic entity used by God as nothing more than a mouthpiece.

    But that’s just me.

    And, of course, literary troglodyte that I am, if you still have your doubts, I recommend that you read Vonnegut’s The Sirens of Titan or some of his writing on secular humanism.

  10. On the topic of religion, people will be offended. There is no getting around it. The film is nothing without the conflict and controversy, while that may not be the goal, it simply couldn’t exist if it was a happy, please everyone movie. I am sure the goal isn’t to criticize Christianity (and don’t forget the other religions now, I have a lot of respect for some of them), but it is almost an inevitability.
    A lot of people won’t like the movie. I don’t think Parker or anyone else has ever thought otherwise, but that shouldn’t make us shy away from what Parker wants to make. If he wants to have shit smeared in the face of God, he can. He may piss off many people, including some of his partners, but it is his peragative. Greg, I guess I understand that you are doing this out of concern, but you should let it be. You won’t be held accountable if it offends people.

  11. First off, I know I won’t be held accountable, and that is irrelevant. The point is that unnecessary insults are a despicable thing, and I advise caution. I never said that no one will be offended, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be sensitive. A lot of the things you are saying are going to be very hard to convey properly. For example, the complex explanation for Christ’s mental illness could turn into something unclear and stupidly offensive. I fully comprehend the good and the bad and the vast possibilities of this movie; my only concern was for you guys making total asses out of yourselves, because that wouldn’t be cool.

  12. Whatever happens, happens, Ye of Little Faith.
    Seriously though, I think it will turn out alright. Even if it doesn’t, I think it will be okay. The movie won’t be as good, but I don’t think it is anything to really worry yourself over.
    I have never seen this side of you, Greg…you are just full of surprises, I guess.

  13. Greg, I completely understand your concerns. Believe me, in any dealings with religious figures (especially Christ), caution is always on our minds. I think one primary means of maintaining the proper tone for the depiction of Christ is to speak from a position of knowledge, which is why I am again doing extensive research into manifestations of mental illness, and why I just started reading the New Testament.

    And there is, of course, a safeguard: if any element of the story is not entertaining or poignant, it will be out of the film in a flash. Things which are stupidly offensive are neither.

    You know I’ve had experience dealing with touchy subjects, and you can bet that I’m on Parker like super glue to make sure that these scenes turn out right. Remember, though, that this is but one piece of the film, and rest assured that it fits with the film as a whole. Otherwise, you’re right, it WOULD be tasteless.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Proudly powered by WordPress
Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.