You see all this?
So why did I assemble all these incredibly different items in one place? Am I practicing to be the person who arranges all the Drawing I still life sets at MCAD? (Yeahâ€¦ you art students out there know what I’m talking aboutâ€¦)
Rhetorical question. The answer’s no.
What would you say if I told you that Ethan and I pulled everything you see here out of a single dumpster this afternoon?
You’d probably say something like, “Holy crap! That must be one magical dumpster!” Yes. Yes, it was. It was the dumpster outside the CSU theater building. They’ve been moving to a new building, see, and Sean Cummings, award-winning actor (what awards? I don’t know. Surely he’s won awards? If he hasn’t, he should have) and all-around swell guy, called me up to alert me to the situation. Here’s the short list of what we got:
8 Plastic masks
5 vinyl masks (inexplicably, one is labeled “Tom Hanks,” but looks much more like Lyndon Johnson to me)
1 deluxe horse mask
1 female torso
1 set female legs
1 life preserver
4 pairs work gloves
1 steak knife
2 unused 6B drawing pencils
1 wearable beer gut
1 Macintosh SE/30, keyboard, mouse, associated cables (works!)
1 fat suit (not pictured)
1 set speakers (not pictured)
1 ethernet cable (not pictured)
2 milk crates
1 can hairspray
1 big freakin’ box o’ safety pins
2 containers shine-free powder
1 measuring tape
1 makeup brush
2 makeup pads
1 roll plastic
1 pad 12″x18″ newsprint (not pictured)
1 big stack 8.5″x11″ card stock (not pictured)
2 pieces black foam core (not pictured)
1 big stack 9″x12″ construction paper
Lots of assorted fabric, including nylon diffusion netting, black velour, white linen and some greenscreen material
1 rubbermaid tub with lid
1 ladybug combination tent & tunnel
1 conical straw hat
Things we left behind:
- A deluxe Chinese dragon head
- Pair of dress shoes
- An enormous pair of stilts
- A small battalion’s worth of fake medieval armor
- A whole bunch of cardboard that could have been recycled (tsk tsk, CSU)
Don’t ask me why they were throwing this stuff out. Obviously those damn thespians don’t have the same appreciation for the finer things in life that we filmmakers do.
Yes, you read that right. A fat suit.
Thanks, Sean. You’re my hero (and a good lay, too!) (sorry, it’s late).